Note to self: You know this worry that has been spinning and turning and rumbling around for a while. About being alive but not having a life. Well, tonight I learned that you can actually have a life without being alive! It is all about being an object, and to transition between contexts, just get made, get used, and find a suitable afterlife; you can live forever, without actually needing to be alive. Wicked.
It has now been ten years
since I kissed a pair of lips,
They were the only pair
I ever found worth kissing,
I have resigned the thought
of ever kiss such lips again,
Better to stay true to self
and linger; yet dreaming
So, I made the plan that was a requirement this time. The ‘Essay Plan’ that would revolutionise my career and take my writing to new heights. I then turned towards the actual work, the writing. The Conclusion came easy, followed by an Introduction fitting for royalties. With 20% of the essay completed I sighed; where’s the body of this essay suppose to come from? The ‘Essay Plan’ clearly stated from where but […] . So I ended up on the sofa; with a pizza and a bottle of wine… Hemingway never said ‘write drunk; edit sober’, but I think this is going to be one of those nights.
I am, all things considered, fairly average,
On days of sunshine; a genius I admit,
Under dark clouds; a stupid, stupid git: git,
I am, all things considered, fairly average,
Cut me in half; any point will do,
You will find me in equal parts; of two,
A biped, one glass half-full; one half-empty,
I am, all things considered, fairly average
A hope once held in steady hand,
Aligning life; present all around,
Simple as a task; like tuning a guitar,
Board a taxi; destination: afar,
Ignoring cost; saving face, and cake.
A dream once presented; black and white,
Be there; defiant in the no-go areas,
Show no fear; show no sorrow,
Birds will sing; and Shostakovich dream,
Is there time left; tick tock says the clock.
A thought once lost; irrelevant alikely,
Catch a bird; in hand has value,
Sparrows or Hummingbirds alike,
Bygones be bygones; be that as it was,
Icicles form without death or sorrow.
On this I will ponder; on the morrow.
More about the first seven can be found here:
Number eight will be a mandatory default for many on March 29 2019
Today I woke to a world covered in snow. Once upon a time, that would have made me happy. Not now. In the kitchen the leftovers of yesterday’s dinner, cold. Nothing’s really changed, Domino’s deliver my pizzas cold; running more than an hour late. Without a real effort to apologise, it’s the weather and some shit about a broken down vehicle. I am blacklisting dominos.co.uk in the router. Never again will they enjoy my business. Winter is coming, tell your friends.
I was happy once,
I recall the ache of too much
laughter
.
Where did that all go?
.
All those years ago
.
Did I not deserve more?
.
Was there sin of
karmic proportions?
.
I was unaware then; loitering,
walking down a path
not meant for me
.
Ending up here; alone,
where happy is a word
in a dictionary
I do not own
.
sadly
.
