Untitled (1370)
Watching my brethren
Hearing their voices
My voice
My silent voice
Reverberating
…
Watching my brethren
Hearing their torment
My torment
My silent torment
Reverberating
…
Watching my brethren
Hearing their selves
My self
My silent self
Illuminated
Untitled (1371)
LIES
I grabbed my pen
And started scribbling,
Doodling a scythe and
a Grim Reaper,
I turned to words
Expressing anger,
I twisted; I turned
And then fuck it,
I ripped the paper
Into a million pieces,
I took my lighter
And lit the ghost,
I fed my desire
Into the fire,
I chanted the words
So long forgotten,
Of revenge and
Butchering Barbie’s babies,
The bell tolled thrice
A death-knell sighing,
Sigh…
Sigh…
Sigh…
Forgetting this I can not do,
Forgiving this I will not do,
Yesterday’s Lie becomes
Today my sorrow,
Forlorn my life – foregone
Tomorrow
Untitled (1372)
She knows only the Moon
And among the grasses she sits
Staring through unopened eyes
At her beauty
Untitled (1373)
note to self: do you remember that feeling of despair you had a long time ago, the tight knot in the stomach and the darkness in your chest? Well, do come and greet its big brother! It was not anything you did in particular but I would suggest reading up on the module description before signing up the next time (if there will be a next time that is…). you fool. how could you not see the issues that group work would cause. mandatory forum participation with assessment of posting quality and level of interaction using suitable language. I mean it was meant as trap and you fell right in. you fool. so what are you going to do next? quit your studies of module 2? module 1 is almost at an end, only 2000 words left. You won’t receive a distinction but there was hope, at one point there was hope for a future. With all light bulbs blown, that future is gone; gone with the wind – a wind of change // no longer present
why?
My life was going well,
Plodding along as you would say,
Then thoughts of greener grass;
of love across borders flourished,
I fell foul of greed and the lack of deed,
restarting a life among aliens,
there; I said it.
My life now; much to desire,
I kept going; developing software,
until one day I did so see,
my erring ways; a life of grief,
and thus I planned the change to be,
no longer spending days dreaming,
I chose the path of childhood smilings,
the writing; from mind worlds creating,
aiming if just in thought; to recreate the
feelings felt as pencil touched paper.
I now do study the ways of man,
the humanities of time and arts present,
The beginnings all well did pass,
lost; but challenging the mind’s desire,
Now; I doubt the choice was wise,
as struggle follow struggle,
essays piling up beside me,
my impatience showing,
thus I humbly wonder:
why? was it worth it?
make me God
I have three monitors; in the physical sense,
with nine spaces of virtual goodness,
I have two eyes; but only one brain,
is that why I struggle,
is that why I demand,
upgrade; upgrade; upgrade me now,
make me better,
make me good,
make me not suffer,
make me God
Untitled (1394)
Trust me (k)not,
This day,
A noose dangling,
Loosely from a ceiling,
There are shades,
Shadeless shames,
Hanging over me,
timeless clocks ticking,
And roads not yet travelled.
Tray.
Trade.
Traitor.
May.
I kick the bucket,
And the noose tighten,
…
Untitled (1395)
m.a.y
May – in days of old meant
Spring in bloom,
May – forever now be
Hell’s fires rising high,
May May be forgotten
Buried; and tarmaced,
A slaughterhouse alight
With clowns laughing
Untitled (1396)
turn me on
I did not mind you forgetting my 40th,
You were busy making a “new life”,
I never minded the one you presented,
Years earlier; I recall our hotel room,
You asked why I hadn’t come,
I blamed the pills; but looking back,
Maybe you didn’t get me,
Maybe you didn’t; turn me on