I ask the ocean to forgive me. A tidal wave of knives washes over me nightly. I wake with a thousand wounds. I never heal. I will drown someday in sharp steel and warm blood. It draws me back, dragged across the sand like a blade. Forgive me. I was deep, and I was afraid. Sweet melancholy, sweet grey death slowly. Cruel sea you stand before me screaming with a thousand broken voices. Give me a song to sing so I will not be silent. Give me words. Exhaust me, my mouth is full of blood. My teeth ache to the root, I am grinding myself down to the truth. Slow truth, I am drowning in you. Forgive me. I love to drown.
Nothing could be so final. So unkind and cold as death. To reserve oneself to the fact that we will all lose what we love the most. How impermanent, home. The walls that absorb our dreams and memories. Torn down. To be lost in the mists of ruin and forgotten.
Aries: The way you look at me is the safest place I know.
Taurus: When I say I miss you, it means there’s so much I don’t know how to say, that places inside me are looking for someone who is only you.
Cancer: Love is what I am when I think of you.
Gemini: I’m losing breath every time your lips form my name, but I keep imagining you standing in the sun and letting every bad feeling go.
Leo: How long will it take for my heart to stop asking what’s missing?
Scorpio: There’s a forest in your bones whose trees I was once born under, now I’d cross thousands of miles and travel by foot without hesitation if it meant being next to you.
Sagittarius: I hate how good I am at missing you.
Virgo: I’ve swallowed so much darkness sometimes the moon wakes up inside of me mistaking me for the night.
Libra: I feel like I’m the wrong word, that the language in me is an ocean I can’t tame. I keep holding its floor with both hands, but the weight of the water will always be a veil around me that doesn’t know my name.
Capricorn: I said your name into an empty room and it became my favourite place.
Aquarius: I’d rob the night of its darkness and the sun of its fire if it meant another sight of you, another moment with you.
As a sigh might be a silent scream oft things here aren’t as they seem the lies perceived in a lover’s eyes may be affirming you win the prize sorrow’s day could be one to care owning less leaves more to share even as the dream bids to deceive it too holds miracles if we believe all we give away we actually keep seeking answers look not too deep we’ll find them if our spirits are still and don’t forget only love is real
