Author name: Hayden Veil

In an earlier incarnation, Hayden Veil enjoyed a successful career in software engineering, writing late-night poetry in pursuit of sanity. On 2 February 2020, the world of Hayden Veil changed: Ghosts became real and with its soul laid bare there was no turning back from the perpetual path of poetry.

Another year in the shadows,
Another year of solitude,
No harbinger of light in sight,
No ginger thins or spiced up wine,
My loss is one of culture โ€“
Never to be regained

In Dangerous Waters

I drown, slowly sinking, I drown!
No, never even realising
I entered dangerous waters;
Deep, deep, dark waters,
Troubled waters like tears
Of the Goddess of old;
Deep, deep, deep in trouble
As I find a self again caught
Perplexed and petrified
By a pair of eyes,
By a pair of lies
I tell myself
To avoid and to escape
What once was felt:
Memories of yesteryears
And Pompeiiโ€™s final squirt
As we laid there waiting
For the endless night;
I saw your eyes then
As I see them now,
Clearly and inevitably
By any standard irresistible:
I drown, then and there
Unable to tell
Unable to convey
I fell and drowned
For you
In you

Six Servings

Some buy tubs of ice cream,
I bought six servings
Of Tiramisรน
To find an escape, and comfort
From the pain of close reading
Of the Romantics โ€“ finding all
Green and Pleasant among
Their Lakes and Trees,

While I hate the teachings
Lacking logic and common
Sense that I require
To fire on all cylinders,

So I revert to hiding,
Eating and enjoying
Everything
Else

Three Crowns

I wear three crowns,
Three rings on my fingers:
Runes on right signifies the old;
A single Celtic infinity knot the new;
And the shadow of a ghost haunting.

I wear three crowns,
Three countries in my heart:
The old which I can never escape;
The new in which I am settling in;
And the one-leafed that will never be.

I wear three crowns,
Three hopes of a future sun:
Wells of ink to never dry;
Trees providing vegan parchment;
And a heart to find the reason to go on.

Tarp, Heels & Silent Killers

I cover myself in tarpaulin,
Like a fish out of water
In finer cloth, scissored
By merchants of fame
And otherworldly
Fortunes,

I cover my weary head
Against the onslaught of drops
Of drops, of winter wonder wet
Unfrozen: a hell in high heels
Never worn,

I banish my final daemon,
Like Lucifer - like Izrael,
Begone, be gone and never come
Near my world and blackened sun,

In white - the potent powder puff
In earnest a secret horror flushed
Like northern mosquitoes,

Silent killers hovering above
Wanting blood, my blood,

Beneath a tattered tarpaulin of old.

I wrap myself in tarpaulin,
My sullen head so sweetly scarfed,

I venture out into a world
Unwilling to accept me
And the ways of worms,

Crawling up through my fertile soil
To reach the light of a single star,
The last of a lucid night beckons
My final sin in betrayal,

To go beyond, to venture afar
Where blue pills line the pockets
Of manly men and the donkeys
They ride into their
Trembling towns,

I go, I set out, I head towards
Their lights in search of truth
And consequence of inaction,
Of distraction, of reactions
To anything close to life
Without a screen in sight.

Screend

Sometimes I find myself staring
At a screen, hoping something
Will move, will break the monotony
Of staring at a screen; the silence
Of a static screen blaring
White noise
White hope
White sorrow
In a binary world
Where only castles
Are made of sand
Where only the wee hours
Count towards my overtime:
Sometimes I find myself staring
Just because
I can

Unpredictable world:
Unpredictable words,
The flow of fickle letters โ€“
Trickling or raging storms;
Unpredictable words,
Written but unpublished โ€“
Unconsidered yet shared,
Regretted but too deeply nailed:
Crucified upon a polished pine
Surface.

Unpredictable world:
Unpredictable words,
The voice of the silent man โ€“
Tongue tied and tired;
Unpredictable words,
Wanting but undesirable โ€“
Unspoken yet longed for,
Ravaged dystopian dream:
Corsets and neckties
Spinning.

Unpredictable world:
Unpredictable words,
Unspoken truths
In hiding.

Hi, hey, you
Real person, heart filled
With beats: believable.
You, you, you
Is special; believe me
As the robots link and like,
Like droids left
To their own devices:
Lacking artificial intelligence
To really care about writing,
Unlike you.
Hey you, long-term acquaintance,
Never doubt I weed you out
From the droning
Of the clicking robotic moaning;
I see
I care
I a-pre-ci-ate
You
Staying close

I have a thing with partings:
Finding therein a something akin
To a death desperately present;
Like an earthquake easily burying
The life I had before, a life
Lost and never returning;
Memories fading
As the self slowly shatters,
Memories within
Unshared and unequivocally
Pointing towards an end;
As the thread of hope
Weaved from the strings
Of dreams, from the last
Rays of sunshine mirrored
In the eyes of the child
Left behind.
I have a thing with partings,
Being left behind,
The others going on
As the self withers -/:

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