Author name: Hayden Veil

In an earlier incarnation, Hayden Veil enjoyed a successful career in software engineering, writing late-night poetry in pursuit of sanity. On 2 February 2020, the world of Hayden Veil changed: Ghosts became real and with its soul laid bare there was no turning back from the perpetual path of poetry.

I walk without weapons now.
My finger’s off the trigger and my armour’s at home.
Call me a quitter,
but I’m done hitting self-destruct just to see what happens.

So let go of the guilt
and allow your broken body to rebuild.
Forgive your failings and keep on keeping on.
And I’ll keep on keeping on.
And we’ll both become strong.
We’ll both be around long after the burning bridges are gone.

It’s a hollow dream,
helplessly stuffing the holes inside yourself
with half-forgotten moments,
and hoping you hold on to the memories
long enough to say “That was me.”

It takes courage to be free.
I might still struggle with clarity
but I can finally see the path set out before my feet.
Right thought.
Right action.
Right speech.

You might stumble along the way,
but that’s fine.
We only get one chance at this life,
so take it one step at a time.

There’s a dark entity hidden in every mind,
and it wants us to fail.
It wants us to take the easy way out
every damn time.
It delights in torture, and gives bad advice.
You need to silence this voice.
Believe in yourself from time to time,
and you can take back your life.

I still have debts to pay.
I don’t know where the dead go
when they’re done with dreaming,
but I know the darkness is growing more afraid of me these days.
I know in the the silent moments when the world stops
and the ghosts come out,
I can hold these humble bones together
and let them drain themselves of doubt.

Don’t despair.

If you’re sick of seeing beauty through a darkened window,
wipe away the dirt.
Self-love does not have to hurt.
You do not need to justify the suffering you feel.
It’s ok to find this living thing hard,
but you are allowed to exist
exactly the way you are.

Embrace the struggle,
the overwhelming guilt
and desire to lose yourself in drink.
But no matter how many times you fall
or how close you are to drowning,
refuse to sink.

Killing time is no way to live.
Drag yourself from the wreckage
and resurrect yourself.
Stay in love with yourself.
Be yourself.
Open your chest and welcome the breath,
because life doesn’t have to scare you to death.

giraffevader100 days of sober (via giraffevader)

a history book of sorts

my writing, reflections of thought
and and! and? reflection of mind
at times I cannot follow the thread
of thoughts or picture the frame of
mind of that time now gone, the
point of creation and the person
I was – then.

my writing, perhaps a history book
to be read by others, I should stay
away from me and the path I walk
until the final day when reckoning
and final tally is shown, I must look
back then; just to make sure I did
leave some marks, something
worthwhile, if only in mind; a
writer

in the corner of my eye

in the corner of my eye
a hooded heathen lurks
the shadow of a scythe
across my path; cursed

in the corner of my eye
the shadow turns away
fading into nothing
my path cleared; blessed

in the corner of my eye
darkness fast arising
the bell tolls thrice
the smell of cancer; menace

in the corner of my eye
moisture gathers pace
tears taking shape
a path is ending; early

in the corner of my eye
a hooded heathen lurks
the shadow of a scythe
across my path; swinging

in dreams reunited

I dreamt again last night
people so familiar yet
strangers touched my
my mind and heart
I dreamt again last night
people I will never meet
passed by to celebrate
my choices in life
I dreamt again last night
through choices made
multiverse divides
in dreams only
are we reunited

The 7th day

It was the quiet sigh,
God’s final whisper,
as her naked skin touched
the heavens
and the setting sun
parted
he knew
it was done – completed

Touch my face

I believe, in truth, I have

love to give, fearless love

in abundance

yet giving is nothing

unless there is

someone to receive

someone to amend

something to touch

at the end of days

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