“at times I fantasise that I could be more than marginalia in your memoirs, more than a misplaced hyphen on blank page”
– c#10 – misplaced hyphen
tonight we gathered / the mates of old / a few drinks shared / with news from all / the local waterhole / a convenient spot / to remember / among friendly faces / how things progress; how things do not / I shared my story / withholding naught / about months in bed / about disabling pain / about failing sleep / and the long way back / tonight we gathered / the mates of old / their support / overwhelming
off track
I have derailed, diverted from the path of light I walked through the summer before I was punched in the face; metaphorically speaking. I am no longer doing that which I desire, reading, writing, walking and feeling what is ahead is as I planned it to be. I feed the dark side, and the dark side is killing me.
still trying to find my way back
I had accidentally turned myself into a bird for the eleventh time that month.
I’m in a cage too and with another bird that is really confused about having a friend in their cage. We talk loads though and I explain that I’m Jay but I’ve never been a blue jay and how that’s pretty sad-face and the old woman who owns the bird is baffled by me and opens the cage to let me out.
I like flying, and wings are always fun to fly with. I don’t talk to her, since humans are mostly confused by talking birds unless it’s parrots and I’m not a parrot this time. I sail out the window and a whistle catches my attention as Charlie is walking down the road with birdseed in her hands even!
“HI!” I say when I fly over.
“Jay. You left feathers all over the bed.”
“Wow! That’s how you knew I was a bird again?”
“Well, that and the fact that every stray cat in the area is in hiding. I’m sure all the cats around here are very sorry one of them tried to eat you.” Charlie opens the bag and I dive in to eat lots of the seeds.
“Do you know why you keep turning into birds?” she asks, ignoring people staring at her. I could make sure everyone else understands me when I’m a bird with bindings, but they kinda get scared and that’s never good.
“Uhm! Nope! But Honcho says that’s better than dinosaurs you know!”
“… I’m not likely to forget that month at all,” Charlie says. “But I brought you clothing, so you can be a normal Jay again and we can try and stop this from happening before you become a very unusual bird?”
I change back into my sorta-human-Jay, and put clothing on.
Charlie ruffles my hair after. “Being a bird is fine, Jay. But you changing forms without thinking about it is always dangerous. So you need to figure out why you’re doing it and scratch that itch. Please.”
“I think maybe sometimes I need adventures on my own a little bit?”
Charlie pauses. “That’s.. always possible. But Honcho and I worry.”
“Only you don’t need to, because I’m smart and mature and respon -.”
“Jay. For the last time: someone on the internet calling you smart, responsible and mature isn’t the same as being that. But if you want to be that, adventures on your own are part of that. Which also means fixing up all the accidents and oopses you make. Alone.”
“I can do that,” I say, and vanish to find an adventure, but I take the bird seed too because it’s a pretty nummy snack!
Jaysome adventure!