10/10/20
There are some things too heavy to hold- This body. This hollow body. This brief beacon of awareness. This sack of borrowed bones. This fragile flame whispering in the dark.
We are already drowned. Already dark. A cold beach at night, salt breeze and sand. I followed the stars and washed up on this coastline. This shivering walk. Hungry sea.
Ask the thunder to stop howling. How the storm still hurts. How can the world be so hard? So blue? How can you hold in a voice that begs to burst out?
Fingers. Or claws. Or talons. They cut me all the same. My flesh torn, wounds open for your healing. Soft mouths breathing together. Sentences barely started, everything said in the silence between waves.
The autumn lives in you. The clear blue skies, the changing leaves. The leaving. The memories, the moods, the savage ruin. Why does the pain of being devoured feel so bright?
And yet I barely breathe these days. I exist only to repeat the hymns that praise you. But I will remain as silent as you need me, with all my love echoing through my caverns. These things, unspoken. These hands, still shaking. These things, too heavy to hold.
