11/10/20
I ask the ocean to forgive me. A tidal wave of knives washes over me nightly. I wake with a thousand wounds. I never heal. I will drown someday in sharp steel and warm blood. It draws me back, dragged across the sand like a blade. Forgive me. I was deep, and I was afraid. Sweet melancholy, sweet grey death slowly. Cruel sea you stand before me screaming with a thousand broken voices. Give me a song to sing so I will not be silent. Give me words. Exhaust me, my mouth is full of blood. My teeth ache to the root, I am grinding myself down to the truth. Slow truth, I am drowning in you. Forgive me. I love to drown.
